One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning son."
"Good morning, Pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.  "Pastor, what is this?" Johnny asked.
"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor.
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

A small, two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland.  Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

From Pastor Otis Nixdorf
The secretary picked up the phone and heard a distinctively country voice say, "I want to talk to the head hog at the trough!"
Puzzled, she said, "Excuse me sir?"
He repeated, "I want to talk to the head hog at the trough!"
She then realized that the man wanted to talk to the pastor.  Somewhat indignant she said, "Sir, if you want to talk to our pastor, you will have to address him properly.  You should call him Pastor, Reverend of Brother, but you certainly cannot refer to him as the Head Hog at the Trough!"
The man responded in a country drawl, "Oh, I just wanted to donate $10,000 to the church."
The secretary, being the wise sage that she was, promptly replied, "Can you hold please, I think the big pig just walked through the door!"