number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical
conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How
do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?"

1981 - Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after
the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a
hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis:
"I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next
time."

1991 -Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a

fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real
tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

1986 - Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss
what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy
officiating."

1991 - NASCAR driver Alan Kulwicki, on racing Saturday nights as
opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."

1991 - Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at
Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after
he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that
mean's we're not going to any more bowl games."

1986 - LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children:
"They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."

1991 - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,
'Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

1987 - Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to
me like you're spending too much time on one subject."