Bro. Bubba was asked to fill the pulpit at the Uptown Baptist Church.  Bro. Bubba was accustomed to preach from handwritten notes or from sermons he had torn out of the Sword of the Lord.  However, he heard that at Uptown, they liked for their pastor to preach extemporaneously (whatever that was) and without notes.  Now Bubba wasn't sure if he could do that until he learned that he was expected to keep his coat during the whole sermon.  There was to be no  removing his coat after the second point of his three point sermon (see Hacker's Guide to Sermon Delivery for an explanation).
Though Bubba hated the idea of keeping his coat on (how do you preach with such a restrictive garment?  The only thing worse is a tie), it did give him an idea.  He jotted down his notes on 3 X 5 cards and inserted them into the inner pocket of his suit.
As Bubba was preaching he said, "And the first man God created was..." and he paused, stepped back, opened his jacket, and took a peek at the note card in his pocket.  Then, without hesitation, he stepped and said "Adam" with such emphasis that it almost evoked an amen from the freeze-dried formal Uptown Baptists.  As he moved on in his sermon he declared, "And the young man who slew Goliath was..." and he paused again, stepped back, and peeked at his note card again.  Again, without hesitation, he stepped forward and shouted "David."  He was really on a roll now.
However, he failed to notice that his note card had fallen from his pocket onto the floor behind him.  Then, as he reached the climax of his point he bellowed in his best hacker's voice, "And the man who parted the Red Sea was..."  Once more he paused stepped back, and took a peek at the inside pocket of his coat.  Then, without hesitation, he stepped forward, and let rip the name "J. C. Penney!"
The moral of the story is, don't use notes, just let her fly.  Get your word from the Lord or the Sword, but never study ahead and put it on notecards.  If, however, you do succumb to the temptation to use notecards, clip them to your coat so they don't fall out.

When Bro. Bubba was in his first pastorate, he decided to impress his congregation by having baptism and communion during the same service.  In preparing for the event, Bubba memorized exactly what he was going to say during each of the rituals.   The plan was to have communion first, and then end the day with the baptism. 
(Baptism & Communion continued)  When the big day arrived, one of the