There is a Family Way

Text: Prov. 14:12; 16:25

Introduction:

v Strands in the noose

Ø Redefinition of the family

“The Nuclear Family Goes Boom!” Time Magazine, Dec. 1992
The family as we know it will soon die. It is nothing more than an interesting anomaly—a mere blip in human history. We thought of it as “normal,” but we were wrong. The very term “nuclear family” will give off a musty smell in the days ahead.
Replacing it will be multiple marriages, or what will be known as “serial monogamy.” Divorce will be so common as to be considered normal. Some marriage contracts will have “sunset clauses” to automatically terminate at a given age. Couples reaching their 50^th anniversaries will be as rare as today’s piano or cello virtuosos—gifted masters of their craft.
Children will live with a bewildering array of relatives—mothers, fathers, multiple stepmothers and stepfathers, stepbrothers and stepsisters, grandparents and former grandparents, etc.
The taboo against incest will weaken.
The trend toward childlessness will accelerate.
Children will be routinely victimized. They will be bounced from home to home as families splinter and re-form. Many will have no one to care for them. Boys and girls will roam the streets much like they did in Charles Dickens’ London, or as they still do in Brazil today.
Pediatricians will teach children about the use of condoms at the time of their vaccinations against disease.
Theology, the study of God and the Bible, will soon die. School children of tomorrow will have no knowledge of spiritual matters, nor even any interest in this topic. (Note: There will be an interest because it is innate. However, if we don’t teach them, then they will not know the basic Judeo-Christian facts and values and will pick up the values of the culture or the New Age spirituality.)
The triumph of feminist religion will cause many Christians and Jews to shun references to God in personal terms (no more Lord or Heavenly Father). This in turn (will) strengthen the groups that worship a mysterious nature-force which seek to deify the self.
Forced abortion as practiced in China will be necessary in nations with exploding populations. As Rep. Pat Schroeder suggests, “The most important goal for the 21^st century is family planning for everyone.”

§ An even more radical approach may evolve. It is reasonable to ask whether there will be a family at all. Given the propensity for divorce, the growing number of adults who choose to remain single, the declining popularity of having children and the evaporation of the time families spend together, another way may eventually evolve. It may be quicker and more efficient to dispense with family-based reproduction. Society could then produce its future generations in institutions that might resemble state-sponsored baby hatcheries…”

Ø Sexual Revolution of the 60s-70s

§ Bearing fruit today

§ Illegitimacy

§ Divorce rate

§ Pornography

§ Homosexuality

§ Premarital sex

Ø Women’s lib movement

Ø Abortion

§ Cheapening of human life

§ Kids realize that they are disposable. Note: can you image the thought process of a teen who has a parent who is pro-abortion? Would my mom have aborted me for convenience sake?

Ø Hollywood Culture Dominate Mainstream

§ Movies, television, video games, internet

§ Each year there are over 20,000 acts of implied intercourse on TV

§ 1992: This season, every middle adolescent (character) in television lost their virginity.”

§ None of those characters got STDs, AIDS, etc.

v Illus. Remember the Alamo. San Antonio 1836 General Antonio Lopez Santa Anna with 4,000 men against the 180 men with Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie

v Leave it to Beaver is scorned, depicted as undesirable, ridiculed as unattainable. Time we brought back Ward and June and kicked out the Eddie Haskell’s who are making family policy

I) Nature of Children

A) Three Views

1) Innately good

2) Tabula Rasa (Blank Slate)

3) Inherently Evil

B) Arguments for Evil

1) Biblical Position

2) Cultural Evidence

3) Historical Evidence

II) Discipline is Damaging

Illus. Dr. Luther Woodward in the 1950s wrote: “What do you do when your preschooler calls you a “big stinker” or threatens to flush you down the toilet? Do you scold—punish—or sensibly take it in your stride? Dr. Woodward recommends a positive policy of understanding as the best and fastest way to help a child outgrow this verbal violence. When parents fully realize that all little tots feel angry and destructive at times, they are better able to minimize these outbursts. Once the preschooler gets rid of his hostility, the desire to destroy is gone and instinctive (emphasis mine) of love and affection have a chance to sprout and grow. Once the child is sox or seven, parents can rightly let the child know that he is expected to be outgrowing sassing his parents.”

“But this policy [of letting children engage in defiance] takes a broad perspective and a lot of composure, especially when friends and relatives voice disapproval and warn that you are bringing up a brat.”

A) Arguments against Corporal Punishment

1) You are just bullying the child, using your size to control them

2) You are teaching the child to use violence to solve problems

3) It is nothing more than abuse

B) Arguments For Corporal Punishment

1) Biblical

2) Same as minor bumps and bruises teach boundaries, so does minor pain from discipline

3) Failure to spank often results in abuse from frustration

C) Corporal Punishment Guidelines

1) Don’t spank infants

2) Punish defiant behavior, not mistakes

3) CP shouldn’t be the response to every mistake

4) Use a neutral object

5) Don’t spank in anger

6) Show love after the discipline

III) Religion is Harmful

Illus. Imprinting and the need for starting early in religious training

Illus. The father who told me, “I’ll let her decide when she grows up.”

IV) Authority is Dangerous Autonomy is Good

Physician who told a teenage girl’s mom that she shouldn’t be in the exam room with her child. He then went on to tell her that his care for her daughter was between him and her daughter and that it should be private.

A) Rebellion/defiance is Normal

B) Education that is self-directed

C) Respect for Authority

1) Authority is NOT a dirty word, though those in the 60s thought so

2) God hates rebellion. God establishes authority. Our culture has it all turned around. They hate authority and promote rebellion

3) Society shifted from authoritarian to permissive. We are now trying to shift back, but are finding it difficult. Once the seeds of permissiveness are sown, they are difficult to uproot.

4) Warped concept of individuality which has made it “wrong” to “impose” our values on anyone, even our own children. Parents, teachers, etc. rather than being authority figures are at best facilitators, and at worst dictators.

5) Authority is needed. It does not squelch out individuality. It only keeps individuality in check so that it doesn’t become hedonism and narcissism.

V) Boundaries Stifle Creativity

VI) Final Thoughts:

A) Parenting Plan

1) Get some from our parents

2) Get some from others around us

3) Get some the latest pop psychology

4) Plan should be derived from Scripture

5) If you are a first generation Christian, then developing the plan is difficult because you naturally tend to use sources that are non-Christian, i.e. parents, culture