The Adam Family

Text: Gen. 2:24

Introduction:

 The Plight of the Home

 illus. Houses falling down the mudslide into the Pacific

 Divorce rate just below 50%

 The culture attack on children and teens

 Time magazine’s year end issue prophesying the end of the family

 Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World where kids were "hatched" in controlled environments

 The Importance of the Home

 One of three institutions prescribed by God

 It is the foundational institution

 Marriage Quips

 Marriage is like a besieged city: those on the outside are trying to get in, and those on the inside are trying to get out

 God knew what He was doing when He "designed" the family

 "Not good for man to be alone"

Transition: I want you to notice three foundational principles about marriage that are basic to having a happy marriage.

 

  1. Leave
    1. Emotionally: cut the apron strings
      1. illus. calling home after every argument
      2. illus. I know a couple whose mother-in-law rearranged all the furniture, cupboards at her daughter's house when they weren't at home. Needless to say, her meddling ended up destroying that marriage.
    2. Physically
      1. It is not wise to live with in-laws after getting married except for certain exceptional cases
      2. If you can't make it on your own then you are not ready for marriage
    3. Financially
  1. Cleave
    1. Demonstration

      2. Glue two sheets of paper together and let them dry. Then ask someone to come and tear them apart. The result is two torn sheets because the sheets had become one. God wants you to cleave together and not be pulled apart. When divorce happens, it leaves scars just as tearing the two glued pieces of paper scars the papers

    2. Permanence of marriage: no divorce
      1. Jesus: "In the beginning it was not so…" speaking of divorce
      2. While exceptions are given "for the hardness of man’s heart" it is not ideal
      3. J.B. Yeats: "A man and woman should choose each other for life. A long life is barely enough for a man and woman to understand each other; and to understand is to love. The man who understands one woman is qualified to understand pretty well everything."
    3. Commitment: to spouse and to biblical marriage
      1. Marriage is NOT based on love, but commitment
      2. 3 Greek Words for love
        1. eroV = physical
        2. fileoV = friendly, brotherly, sometimes a synonym with agaph
        3. agaph = self- sacrificing love
      3. Illustrations
        1. "I don’t think my husband loves me. He never pays any attention to me. He’s away from home most of the time, works an extra job, and when he’s off on Sunday, he just sleeps all day. He doesn’t even go to church anymore. The first two years of our marriage were fine, but in the last three years things have been getting worse. I don’t even know if I love him anymore. Maybe I married the wrong guy."
        2. Jerry Jenkins: "I wasn’t about to marry someone with whom I was hopelessly in love, because that’s not a good basis for marriage."
        3. Infatuation/in love: "I’m crazy about you" "I idolize you" "I can’t help myself" euphoria of emotion
        4. "in love" euphoria of emotion, state of being
        5. "love" is a verb, action
        6. true love says: I choose to put you ahead of me. I want to meet your needs. I want to do a dirty job you’d rather not do. Can I pick up the kids? Run an errand? Wash the dishes? What can I do to act out my love for you?
        7. God "so loved" the world; not God was so "in love" with the world
        8. Rom. 5:8 "God demonstrated His love" He loves the unlovable, not just the unlovely
      1. marriage vows were to mate AND God
        1. Marriage is better when love is present, but love is not essential
          1. "I’m not getting much out of marriage"
          2. "I’m not getting much out of church, Bible reading"
          3. Not what you get out but what you put in. I read the Bible, not for what I get, but to worship and be with the Lord. Of course, there are benefits, but I don’t do it for the benefits.
        1. Marriage Zippers: Staying "in" love
          1. Communication
          2. Touching
          3. Fidelity
          4. praxis: do the right things and the feelings will follow
          5. C-L-A-S-P (Prov. 15:1 "A soft word turns away anger…"
            1. Calm Down
            2. Lower Your Voice
            3. Acknowledge Your Spouse’s Request
            4. State Your Request
            5. Propose a Solution
        1. Marriage Zappers
          1. criticism: criticism never improves your mate. No one wins a marriage war, it is attacking yourself (one-flesh)
          2. monotony (get dating ideas)
          3. immaturity
            1. unrealistic expectations
            2. trying to live the single life while married
            3. going out with the boys or girls
            4. playing softball three nights a week
            5. using sophomoric tactics in the relationship
          1. Not understanding the differences between men and women

women Men

verbal non-verbal

elaborate concise

hint direct

atmosphere

  1. One Flesh
    1. Physical Aspect: note 1 Cor. 7 "due concupiscence"
    2. Purpose: Monogamy, heterosexuality
    3. Build Hedges to prevent other foxes from coming in
    4. Jerry Johnson’s 6 hedges
      1. Whenever you must work with a lady, make it a threesome
      2. be careful about touching
      3. compliment clothes, not the person
      4. Avoid flirtation or suggestive conversation, even in jest
      5. Remind your wife often of your love for her
      6. Try not to bring work home

Conclusion: